he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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