I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize