My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think your dad took our porno
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
