I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
