That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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