Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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