dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
