We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
