carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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