what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
