it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
