I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
