I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
