This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
