Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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