All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
