omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
