you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
