I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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