He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to wash the frat house off of me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
