I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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