How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
