Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
