I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
