Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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