He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
