Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
