Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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