I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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