i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
