Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
