I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
