maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
