PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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