Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
