11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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