doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
