He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
