Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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