I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
