Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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