lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is in my trunk
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
