no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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