Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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