He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
