Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
