If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
