Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
