Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
her vagine was all disorganized.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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