You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
