try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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