the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You are the jesus of drinking
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
