I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
