What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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