my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
